It’s the end of the semester. We’re all feeling frazzled. Around this time of year, the Maier house sees an uptick in fights, tears, and stress-related headaches. The good news: break is almost here, so it’s time to make a game plan. Here are four key things I’ve learned about getting and staying recharged

1 - Say “no” often.
Saying “yes” too often means that we’re automatically saying “no” to time for rest and recharging. One of my favorite bloggers/ podcasters, Kendra from The Lazy Genius Collective, argues that you can have it all. But—and this is important—it can only be a limited “ALL” consisting of your priorities. Put differently, you can do all the things that are most important to you but that can’t encompass every good thing out there. Too many of us adopt the standards of someone else’s best life as our own. We do this for all kinds of reasons—guilt, fear of missing out, fear of disappointing others. We want to earn a 3.6, volunteer regularly, have 2 leadership positions on campus, work out regularly, work on campus, AND have a wide range of meaningful friendships. Not gonna happen! What does this look like practically? I say “no” not just to isolated events but to entire categories of things. My lawn isn’t perfectly landscaped. I spend about 5 minutes per day on my hair and make-up. My kids don’t have elaborate birthday parties. I dropped out of my book group 3 years ago. I sometimes feel guilty about those things or envy those who have different priorities. But, when I’m thinking clearly, I know I can’t make those things happen and still find time for the things that matter most to me.

2 - Make specific time to recharge.
You won’t do it if you don’t make time for it. In my own life, I’ve tackled this by taking Sundays off. I don’t do laundry; I don’t grade papers; I don’t work through a to-do list. After church, I spend the rest my day recharging for the week ahead. Yes, I complete essential tasks, but I’m very stingy with the designation “essential”. Maybe this isn’t realistic for your life situation. Instead, how about scheduling 3 hours off some afternoon or trying to end all work by 10 pm each school night?

3 - Identify your best recharge.
I’m a reader. That’s my principal way of rejuvenation, and I make time to read for enjoyment EVERY DAY. This year, I’m on track to read 52 books, which averages out to a book—or 300 pages—a week. “Too many of us adopt the standards of someone else’s best life as our own.” How does a working mom with six children at home justify this extravagance? Fiction especially frees me from the tyranny of my to-do list. Books give me ideas to discuss with my husband and friends. They spur my creative problem-solving and cultivate empathy. When I read, I’m less snappish and self-absorbed. The people who know me best think it’s a good trade-off! A quick caveat: It’s easy to mistake “not working” for recharging. But many people leave group activities, movie marathons, and endless Internet surfing more exhausted than they started. It’s not that those things couldn’t recharge someone (although I have yet to meet the person who’s recharged by Internet surfing). They may work perfectly well for someone else, but not for you. If books aren’t your thing, I have friends who experience a similar release through art, exercise, and movie-watching.

4 - Finally, work hard when you’re working.
It may seem counterintuitive to talk about hard work in an article about rest, but diligence and productivity connect closely to good rest. Your mind and body are best prepared to rest when you’ve actually labored with an intensity deserving of rest. Think about how satisfying it is to sit down after a hard day of physical labor! A long day spent simultaneously working and time-wasting (for example, working on homework while watching TV) is unlikely to provide either an efficient tackling of your to-do list or a feeling of rejuvenation. In most studies, multi-tasking results in lower cognitive functioning and decreased productivity. So, choose the all-in approach to work and leisure rather than the mixed approach. One of my closest friends often quotes airline safety instructions: “Put on your own oxygen mask before you help someone else with theirs.” What she means by this: You can’t save someone else’s life if you aren’t first taking care of yourself. Everyone reading this wants to be a better friend, a better student, a better human. Take the next step through intentional work and recharging!

It was winter break after my first semester at Hillsdale. Exhausted and depleted from the rigorous semester and marathon of finals, I found myself aimlessly staying up to watch T.V. (or scroll through social media) until about 1 a.m. and sleeping in until noon. At the time, it felt necessary to catch up on down time and sleep after a challenging first semester of being a college student-athlete. Those first four months at Hillsdale consisted of 8 a.m. classes, tennis practices, team lifts, office hours, class projects, lab work, tutoring sessions, and traveling for matches. Every day was scheduled, structured, and filled to the minute. Now, my personality worked well with a planned schedule, but when winter break rolled around, I fell into doing the complete opposite. I wanted to do absolutely nothing, with zero structure and no schedule. Over the years, I learned that this type of “rest” was actually exhausting and counterintuitive. It took me many times of trial and error to find my effective rest and enjoyable leisure.

Rest can feel elusive in college and throughout your twenties. For me, the search and practice of a balanced life has been a continual process through college, into graduate school, and still into entering the “adult world”. From my experience and others, adulthood is scheduled, structured, and managed by you and only you. If you want time and space for rest, it’s your responsibility to create it. If you want to practice and experience leisure, it’s on you to plan it. I have found it is even more necessary to have intention with rest and leisure in adulthood than in college.

How do we distinguish between rest and leisure? Leisure is focused on fun, activity, and enjoyment. Rest is designed for reset, relaxation, and rejuvenation. It is important to have some aspects of rest included in your leisure. Without it, you will come to the end of your weekend and need a weekend from your weekend. Rest is whatever gives you room to breathe, to pause, to cease doing, striving, and being more. Rest is connection with yourself and connection with the One who gives you life. Because we are all different, rest and leisure look different for everyone. What might give me rest and recovery might be someone else’s stress and struggle.

From a little bit of my personal experience, and my education in the field of psychology, I have found the following experiences to be strong signals that individuals are feeling depleted and overwhelmed:

• You display general grumpiness, irritability, and higher sensitivity than usual

• You struggle to get good rest and sleep (which I completely understand is challenging to do in college)

• Your plans and to-do lists fall through the cracks

• You don’t have time for your hobbies, exercise, or friends, but would rather watch hours of T.V. and eat minimally throughout the day.

If these signs become apparent, here’s how you create space for rejuvenation in your life - make it part of your schedule. I have seen it both in my work and personal life, scheduling rest into your day creates a greater likelihood of making it a non-negotiable piece of your life. Give it a try over break; keep your days structured and planned out to ensure your activities will be fulfilling. As you prepare for the spring semester, work to implement planned breaks into your weekly and semester schedule. The focus on bringing intentional rest and leisure into your semester will not only encourage the habit, but will help you feel more like yourself by the end of the semester.

Now you know the signs and how to create space for leisure, so what are some ideas? Rest itself take the form of being sedentary, being in nature, or being in absence from social media. Rest combined with leisure can fall into 4 categories – Recover, Do, Write, and Create – they can look something like this:

• Recover: Get your nails done, enjoy a spa day, sit in a wet or dry sauna, or take a break from technology.

• Do: Swim, go for a walk, practice yoga, or have a dance party- any movement can be restful and enjoyable. This can also be practicing mindfulness, cleaning and purging and organizing, or reading for fun.

• Write: Journal, practice a gratitude list, list goals and dreams, or track your moods, emotions, and physical feelings.

• Create: Cook, bake, color, draw, or complete any craft that suits your style.

As we approach the new year, I encourage you to reflect on what rest and leisure look like for you. Work to identify your signs of feeling depleted and overwhelmed. Intentionally create space for effective rest and enjoyable leisure, and be creative in finding what is most rejuvenating for you. I too will continue my practice of finding leisure in activity, and rest in connection with myself and the Lord. May the season bring you peace, joy, and rest.