IN THIS ISSUE:
5 Steps to Habit Formation by Christy Maier
Q and A with Hadiah Ritchey and Mary Margaret Spiteri
If you’re like me, the new semester is a time to think about how to improve on the previous semesters and to set goals. Some people gravitate naturally towards routines and habits that support goals. Most of us, however—and I certainly fall into this category—truly want better habits, but we find it difficult to sustain positive change. That’s why gyms are crowded in January and empty by March.
Forming good habits—and by that, I mean routinized behaviors that improve our overall well-being—requires both strategic behavior design and careful cultivation. Here are some steps that have helped me.
1. Start with your ultimate end goal in mind! Too often we pick new habits that facilitate someone else’s ideal. A habit worth adopting will improve your happiness, health, or some other element that factors into well-being. Before you select, identify where your well-being seems deficient. For example, are you overstressed? Chronically disorganized? Is this contributing to your unhappiness?
If so, that’s a great place to start! Brainstorm new behaviors that might decrease stress or improve your organization. Then cross out the ones that won’t work for you or that won’t really achieve your objective.
2. Start your habit small and let it grow. If you’re trying to build in daily exercise as a way of battling stress, start with a 7-minute workout on your phone or even a minute of vigorous cardio. Here’s why: If you start with dramatic change, sustaining that change requires tremendous willpower every single day. Truth: willpower and motivation for most of us varies from day-to-day. Take motivation and willpower out of the initial equation by building the small habit first. Then, let your motivation grow as you achieve success.
3. Attach your new habit to a constant in your life. Often our best intentions fail because we forget the intentions. One way to combat this is to attach the new behavior to something we never forget. For example, I would love to take a multivitamin regularly, but the only way I ever remember is if my husband gives them to me. (I don’t think that counts as a habit.) Recently I decided to link my multivitamin to my morning cup of coffee, which is something I NEVER forget. So, as soon as I pour that cup of coffee and put the coffee back on the burner, I get out my vitamins and take them.
4. Celebrate your successes immediately. Positivity reinforces habit change. Find a way to make yourself feel good about the changes you’re starting to make. It can be as small as a thumbs up in the mirror or hearing your favorite teacher or mentor’s voice in your head saying, “Great job.” You’ll be far more likely to repeat a behavior that makes you feel good.
5. Don’t allow habits to become an end in themselves. At times I’ve become so attached to habits that they actually get in the way of my well-being. I love making my bed before I leave my house in the morning—so much so that if I run out of time to get it done, I’ll either do it anyway and risk being late or I’ll feel cranky all day. That’s counterproductive. Have flexibility and give yourself grace when life gets in the way of your routines.
Want to learn more? I highly recommend Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything by BJ Fogg, PhD. He explores these ideas and more in greater depth. Good luck and happy habit formation!
Q: Do you have a go to method of establishing healthy habits?
Hadiah | It is easy for me to be overwhelmed by habit creation. Recently I have tried to narrow down my focus in order to really commit to certain habits. I love the idea of a huge habit log, but I’ve found that limiting myself to 1-2 habits at a time exponentially increases the likelihood that I will stick to my routine. While limiting my scope can feel discouraging at first, taking smaller steps helps me realize my limits and my reliance on my Heavenly Father. And on the flip side, I actually create better, more consistent habits by starting slow.
Mary Margaret | I love the Cultivate What Matters Powersheets Goal Planner! Being able to visualize the healthy habits I wish to establish in terms of my long term goals is the most helpful for me! Scheduling it into my day is also helpful. I need a plan and a time, without those I will never get around to starting.
Q: How do you identify and break unhealthy habits?
Hadiah | Usually, I can tell I have a bad habit when something starts to detract from my ability be present and offer myself to those around me. To use the words of Pope John Paul II, “man can only find himself through the sincere gift of self.” If I take Jesus at his word in Mark 8:35, I can only truly gain my life through losing it. But in order to give, I have to have something to offer. If I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t pay attention through RA meetings. If I’m always on my phone, then I probably won’t notice if a friend happens to be crying two booths over in AJs.
To start breaking those unhealthy habits, I’ve found I am best able to identify changes if I fill my space with things that remind me of the kind of life I want to live. The best way to identify a counterfeit is to know what the real deal looks like. One practical change has been that while I used to enjoy watching vlogs or shows that feature crazy and unhealthy lifestyles (and still do on occasion!), I’ve started trying to replace those media outlets with things that remind me of the healthy habits I want to build, like cooking or finance videos, well-written essays, or beautiful music.
Mary Margaret | I think that identifying bad habits is relatively simple, you know you shouldn’t eat that sleeve of cookies, or spend 10 hours binging Netflix. However, I’ve found that not starting a healthy habit tends to be the most unhealthy for me.
Q: What habits do you wish you would've formed in college?
Hadiah | I wish I had committed to some form of sabbath! I find it very difficult to be still and it is very easy for me to equate my self-worth with my performance. I need to be constantly reminded that I am not the captain of my own destiny, and practicing intentional rest is a tangible way to acknowledge that I am not God and that I am, in fact, a dependent being. I may not have taken a whole day to rest in college, but even just an evening or afternoon (particularly on Sunday) would have been very helpful reducing burn out and stagnation.
Mary Margaret | I wish I had developed a better morning rhythm. I have found that when I wake up early and accomplish things first thing in the morning, the rest of my day flows better.
Q: Is there a bad habit you've tried and failed to stop? What did you learn from this?
Hadiah | Comparison, particularly on social media, is a horrible habit that I am still working to root out entirely. I find that mindless social media scrolling is a sure-fire way for me to feel discontent and “less-than” those around me, and it is also incredibly hard to avoid! Although I have been able to reduce my social media consumption over the past year, I have not yet found a way to keep social media around and completely avoid the comparison game. Last year I (mostly) stopped using Instagram throughout the week, and this year I am trying to do the same for Facebook. Over the past two years, I’ve learned that I have much better success if I frame habits in a proactive light. In this case, I have done a lot better with the habit “use Instagram only on Saturdays” than “never use Instagram.” It might be that I eventually ditch social media all together, but right now I am trying to take my own advice and go one step at a time.
Mary Margaret | The hardest thing for me is starting healthy habits or just habits of things that I know are important (laundry for example). A friend suggested that when you have a negative thought about something to immediately think good thoughts about the thing. That has helped a lot when cultivating healthy habits!