Hey Mom! With Stephanie and Bethany
Dear Abby: Hey Mom!
With: Stephanie Maxwell and Bethany Widmer
What’s advice would you give your young daughter?
Bethany Widmer: Aside from the Lord, have people in your life to guide you in wise, Christian decision making. It is so helpful to have older women who have experienced more life, pour into you and share wisdom they have learned (usually the hard way) to help guide you in all areas of your life.
Stephanie Maxwell: A. The key to lasting peace is to accept the givens in your life right now, knowing that God is utterly trustworthy. And then do the next right thing. (Paraphrased from the writings of Elisabeth Eliot) B. Know your worth. Identity isn’t about who you are but Whose you are. You are a daughter of the King, chosen before the foundation of the world. (Eph. 1:3-14) C. Avoid the mindset that says, “My life will begin when I get married, or when I have kids or when I find my dream job.” This is your life right now; Live it!
What are your pantry staples for healthy, quick meals?
BW: I keep quite a variety of single ingredient spices because they add flavor to a basic meal and I can mix them together to make my own blends (taco seasoning, Italian seasoning, etc). Blends can be pricey, but they are so cheap when you make them yourself. Plus, the pure ingredients are so much better for you!
SM: Here are two of my favorite throw-together meals from items that everyone should have on hand: 1) Frittata and 2) Penne Alla Vodka from Cook’s Illustrated. I also highly recommend using rotisserie chicken to jump-start all kinds of recipes, from chicken soup to chicken enchiladas.
What is your dating/relationship advice?
BW: Don’t compromise your values, but don’t forget we all have room to grow. You can’t go into the relationship expecting or demanding them to change, but as your relationship grows you both should be growing and changing together. If either of you remain the same, something is missing. A mature couple each bring something to the relationship that makes the other person better. You should celebrate each other’s strengths and encourage each other in your weaknesses. Lastly, give consideration to any concerns about your relationship from those who are closest to you.
SM: Listen to my Curate talk “A Fresh Look at Dating”
What are your go-to hospitality tips?
BW: Don’t wait, invite people over! Have a simple tea and maybe a muffin or cookies and spend time together. If that’s too much, have a movie night with popcorn and everyone brings their own drinks. The key to hospitality is not your space being big and just so, or even what you serve, it’s how you make people feel. People love to be invited and there doesn’t even have to be a reason other than enjoying each other’s company!
SM: Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. The goal is to foster community and fellowship, not to entertain or impress. The former is relational (outward focused); the latter is performance based (self-focused). Hospitality means sacrifice; we’re commanded to do it. Don’t wait until you feel like it. And don’t invite only those people who are easy or fun.
What has your vision been for cultivating your home environment?
BW: I want my home to be cozy and welcoming to everyone, so I keep that in mind with my furniture and the placement of it. This means having comfortable couches and arrangements that are conducive to conversations. I also love to decorate for the holidays, so I bring in pops of color and themed items that bring me joy. If I’m happy in my space, it exudes out to others and they feel it too!
SM: I’m guessing you’re asking about aesthetics here, but above all else I want my home to reflect the love of Christ—in the way I interact with my husband and kids and in the way I welcome others into our lives. For me, that means cultivating an environment that is clean, comfortable, and calm. I like neutral colors, natural light, a great outdoor space, and a bustling kitchen with great food!
What cleaning habits are important to develop now?
BW: Making your bed completely changes the appearance of your room and makes it look so much more tidy. It is a simple routine to get into that really does give a peaceful feeling. Also, in my home the two spaces I focus on keeping clean are the main bathroom and the kitchen: wiping down your kitchen sink and table. You want a clean space to prepare and serve food and having a clean bathroom is good hygiene as well as welcoming to guests. This saves you from being so stressed if guests want to come visit at the last minute. If you’re in a dorm, maybe start out by making your bed and wiping out your sink each day.
SM: I have a hard time feeling organized and at peace if the space I’m living in is disorganized, and I am quite certain our entire family functions better when our house is in order. Straightening (as opposed to cleaning) comes down to tiny habits: Make your bed before you leave in the morning, keep your bathroom tidy and clean, don’t let things pile up in the kitchen, fold your clothes and put them away. Even if you plan to hire a housekeeper later in life, you will need to straighten before she cleans. Make straightening a habit, and it will never feel like a big job.
Do you have staple cleaning products?
BW: I make most of my own with simple ingredients I keep on hand... castile soap, vinegar, baking soda, distilled water, washing soda, Borax and an essential oil cleaner concentrate. From these I can make everything to clean my house from floors to bathrooms, kitchen, laundry soap, hand soap and even a fruit and veggie wash! Also, a pumice stone scouring stick (they are $2 in the cleaning section of Meijer or Walmart) removes hard water rings from the toilet bowl.
SM: Here are my cleaning staples: white vinegar, paper towels and Norwex cloths, a spray bottle filled with water, Clorox toilet wand & sponges, Magic Erasers, a good dust mop for hardwood floors, and Clorox Bleach Germicidal Wipes for disinfecting after sickness (these are different from normal Clorox wipes.)
What is a piece of advice or a skill you wish you would have known in your early 20s?
BW: I wish I had the skill to sew... it would have been so helpful in many ways that were necessary (finding a seamstress was hard and expensive), but also for fun projects!
SM: Your 20s can be tumultuous. I think it’s important to develop multi-generational relationships and to look for ways to serve others. On a practical note, figure out how to handle money and make smart financial decisions from the start!
Stephanie Maxwell | ‘96
Stephanie loves working with Christy Maier as an Academic Counselor in Academic Services! In her free time, she reads voraciously, directs the College Baptist Church youth group with her husband, and spends as much time as possible with her two children. Stephanie’s favorite way to workout is with friends, and she goes to Checker Records more than she thinks she should.
Email: smaxwell@hillsdale.edu
Bethany Widmer
Bethany Widmer is an educator, writer, speaker, and certified life coach. She has a heart for community and volunteering and has served in various ministries (children, women, marriage) since 1997. Her passion is supporting and encouraging others to pursue their God-given calling. Together with her husband Scott, of 30 years, they have raised three daughters—Samantha, Emma and Sophia.
Email: sincerelybethany37.7@gmail.com
