By: Jaime Boerema

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you” (Isaiah 43:1b)

I went into senior year full of expectations and excitement. Junior year had been deeply bittersweet, and I was looking forward to the refreshment of a new year.

Except, the new year was far more daunting than I anticipated.

In the fall, my immediate family dealt with terrible sin inflicted by an extended family member. In January, about two weeks after winter break, my sister and I received the call that my mom had been diagnosed with a rare kind of cancer. Additionally, through both semesters and beyond, I have dealt with unresolved, chronic physical pain .

I wish I could tell you that I was the epitome of grace and kindness in all those months, that I faced sorrow with open hands and that I practiced kindness even in my grief.

But that wouldn’t be the whole truth, nor would it be an honest encouragement or exhortation to you.

While I did seek to live and love well in that time, I also sometimes retreated from those who loved me, hoping that my broken heart wouldn’t be exposed. I sometimes snapped at dear friends who tried to comfort me in their own imperfect way. I sometimes struggled to view my worth in the light of Christ instead of simply through how I was performing in this season.

And yet, despite all of the ways in which I repeatedly proved my humanity this past year, God was so gracious. He blessed me with growth in cherished friendships and provided new and sweet friendships as well. He brought my relationships with my sister to even greater depths. He lavished grace up grace as I clung to Him.

Here’s the thing: because of Christ, we aren’t victims, and we don’t have to live in defeat. At the same time, desiring to be conformed to the image of Christ does not make us not immune to suffering, nor does it mean we will always handle it well.

This is for all the girls who feel suspended between being deeply grateful and deeply sorrowful. The girls who are seeking to be fully present here at Hillsdale and who also are facing suffering and trying to figure out how to live with integrity in all areas of life.While I have not done any of the following perfectly (or even well) by any means, I’ve included some thoughts on how to live graciously through this tension.

1) The first thing I encourage you to do in those times of “deep waters” is to be honest with the Lord and with others about whatever it is you’re facing. In one of my favorite books, Abba’s Child, author Brennan Manning says, “That which is denied cannot be healed.” Honesty shatters places of bondage.

2) Take care of your physical health. Drink water. Get a good night’s rest. Fuel your body with nutritious foods, and make time to work out. You won’t regret the time spent invested in being a healthy and whole human being.

3) Read Isaiah 43. It is profound, and full of God’s radical love. Read His promises and cling to them. Be a woman of the Word.

4) Accept help. Resist your desire to be seen as perfect. People aren’t caring for you because they perceive you as weak. They are caring for you out of love. Lay down your pride and embrace that love.

Balancing family, school, jobs, friendships, and suffering can sometimes feel deeply overwhelming. But let me encourage you to be honest with your story, because as we allow ourselves to be seen, suffering loses some of its power. The beautiful thing is, healing doesn’t ultimately come from us. It comes from a God who knows every tear and promises to make all things new. So take heart, sister.

Deep Waters and Deeper Love: Living Well Through Suffering

Clean Living: Cutting out toxins and taking your health into your own hands

Humble Beginnings