Self-Sacrificial Love in Motherhood and Beyond
By: Julia Smith
As we develop our Christian identity, which image of Christ is the most important, the image which symbolizes and embodies Christianity? It is not the image of Christ walking on water, healing the blind man, or even resurrecting from His death; though these acts build our faith, they are not the truest embodiment of Christianity. Rather, it is the image of Our Lord’s self-sacrificial act: freely allowing Himself to be nailed to the cross. While I am far from being an advanced theologian, or even a mediocre one at that, I do not find it coincidental that–like Christ–the single truest description of motherhood is “self-sacrificial.”
The first time I heard this definition of motherhood was during my pregnancy with Penelope. A much wiser, more seasoned mentor of mine shared–with a smile on her face, mind you–that motherhood is an act of self-sacrifice. Though daunting and somewhat hard to understand at the time, I have not only found this statement to be accurate, but have since used it as a mantra throughout my journey of motherhood. The demand for self-sacrifice first surfaced during pregnancy: from cutting out foods that I love, to declining drinks, to coping with nausea, to seeking relief from aches and discomfort as the months passed. Then, the raw, physically demanding act of delivery, which results in a literal outpouring of blood, sweat, and tears. What follows isn’t any less sacrificial, either: the first year requires sacrificing countless hours of sleep, the ability to act spontaneously, and, in my case, a concerning amount of hair. As my first child, Penelope, has gotten older, I have sacrificed some semblance of my autonomous identity, too. To many, I am no longer “Julia” but instead, “Penny’s mom.”
On the surface, I might sound like I am complaining or, at the very least, providing some kind of warning to women who are discerning motherhood in their future. However, this could not be further from the truth. Yes, with motherhood comes changes, challenges, and sacrifice; but, despite these sacrifices, I have found that my life has blossomed abundantly in other ways. My Sito (grandmother in Arabic) always used to say “ya qalbi, ya euyuni, ya hayati,” which roughly translates to “my heart, my eyes, my life.” Growing up, her endearing statement always made me smile. But now, as a mother, I have gained a deeper understanding of its profoundness. My body is no longer mine–my entire being was a life-giving source to my children during pregnancy. Now, my arms are for cradling, my hands are for wiping away tears, my breasts are for nourishment, my hair is for babies to yank…the latter probably being my least favorite of the mix. And, when I see my children, I have come to understand my Sito’s words. I no longer live for just myself, but have three extensions of myself that are my responsibility. Now, I have three more hearts in which I aspire to cultivate love, compassion, and vulnerability. I have three more souls to develop a spirit of Christian faith and human welfare. I have three more bodies to nourish, strengthen, and tend to.
There will come a day when I die. When that day comes, I strive for nothing else than to be an example and emblem for my children, grandchildren, and, God willing, my great-grandchildren. Since my Sito’s passing in April of this year, I have spent an abundance of time contemplating the self-sacrificial legacy she has left for our family. Sito never accomplished anything newsworthy or ground-breaking, but her life-long devotion to her family has imprinted love, compassion, faith, and family-orientedness on my family, myself and all who knew her.
I know that I will never be a perfect mother. I struggle every day with patience, virtue, and gracefully conducting daily necessities in the home. Despite this, I sincerely hope that, like Christ, my legacy will be one of self-sacrificial love. I pray that my children will remember me as a woman devoted to her family and faith. I pray that all of my efforts and sacrifices will be remembered above the inevitable failures I have made and will surely make again.
Whether or not motherhood is in your future, I encourage you to consider the importance of selfless love. Ephesians 5:2 states, “And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” As you develop relationships–whether it be with friends, family members, or even your future spouse and children–I pray that they are filled with and defined by intimacy, vulnerability, and self-sacrifice.
Julia Smith ‘20
Hey there! My name is Julia (Salloum) Smith. I’m a mother of 4: Penny (4 years), twins Lucy & Damian (18 months), and baby girl due in January. I graduated from Hillsdale in 2021 with a BA in Psychology and completed my MA in Counseling Education at Wayne State in July 2025. I work part-time as a therapist; I’m especially passionate for helping teens, young adults, and mothers. I also teach Kindermusik classes once a week, which barely feels like work considering how fun it is. My REAL passion is cultivating a home filled with love, faith, and understanding…And good food - that definitely helps the other things come easier.
My hobbies include working out (hello, sanity in motherhood!) and singing, though I haven’t had the time to sing very much these days (besides to my kids in excess).
