In the fall of 2000, I stepped onto Hillsdale’s campus for the very first time. I was familiar with campus, as I lived only 30 minutes from Hillsdale, but it still felt like a whole new world. My four years here on campus were some of the most fun, challenging, and character building years of my life.

Shortly after graduating in 2004, my new husband and I moved to Iowa. At that time, this move was the biggest change we had ever faced. We were facing a whole new city, new jobs, no family near us…it really was just me and him trying to build a life in a place we knew no one and had never been before. But build a life we did and, surprisingly, that change was easier for me than the one I faced 12 years later when I returned to Hillsdale’s campus.

In the fall of 2018, we decided to move back to Hillsdale to be near family as my husband had received a job offer in the area. By this time, we had two young boys who were thrilled to live near extended family for the first time in their young lives. We prayed, pondered, planned and, finally, packed up and hit the road back to Michigan.

Change is, often times, hard and messy. As much as we do to prepare ourselves for change, there are still things about it that jump up and surprise us once we are living in the midst of our decisions. While, as humans, we all know that change is inevitable, we still build a life around habits and routines. Once these routines are altered, we are somehow surprised that life brings us change whether we want it or not and, occasionally, when we least expect it. The change my husband and I prayed about and chose, at first, was an exciting and happy new adventure. We were moving near our family after 12 years of being without family. We would not have to travel for every holiday and family gathering. We could find new friends, a new home and church, but we could never replace family. We were ready for this change.We thought—and then the change happened.

For various reasons, it became a much more difficult season than our little family expected. Our home in Iowa took much longer to sell than we anticipated, I was unable to find a job for many months, and we missed our church family so deeply and were having difficulty finding a church community in Hillsdale.'

I quickly realized that a big part of my identity had centered on my career...without that role to define me, I floundered.〞I also quickly realized that a big part of my identity had centered on my career in Iowa and, without that role to define me, I floundered. Have you ever felt this way before or experienced this? Perhaps you have been an athlete your whole life, or the smartest in your classroom, or the best writer, or the best musician. Whatever role has defined you in your life, it can be a very difficult thing when you enter a new phase of life and that role shifts. It can be even more difficult to realize that as much as you had hoped your identity was only defined by Christ and His love for you, perhaps there are other things you hold more important in your definition of identity.

One of the biggest things I have learned throughout this past year is this: the less we focus on ourselves, the happier we become.

What do I mean by this? The months that I spent wallowing in my hurt did nothing to change my perspective on this change in my life. However, when I started becoming less focused on my own worry and began to reach out to friends and family members who loved me, my outlook slowly began to change. It will not happen overnight—and you will still have days that are difficult—but the more you are around love and support, the more you will focus on the positive and fulfilling things in your life. 

The second thing I have learned is this: just because we feel that God has called us to something does not mean it will be easy.

I think we often confuse following His will in our lives with lives that will, then, be easy and seamless because we are doing so. Sometimes that may be the case but, most often, the paths God chooses to lead us on will lead to hurdles, obstacles, trials, or tribulations. Those trials and tribulations ultimately bring us closer to Him. This lesson is important as our goal should be that our greatest satisfaction does not come from living in this world but in striving toward the next.

For those of you, right now, who may be facing the biggest change in your life by being here at Hillsdale, know this: this change in your life and all the varied feelings that might come with it—fear, anxiety, worry, stress, hope, happiness, and gratitude, just to name a few—will lead you toward greater success in your future. How do I know this? Because anything that comes with effort, pain, or hardship usually leads to greater personal development and growth.

Whether you are going through change or have a close friend who is going through this change, I encourage you to think of this quote I once heard: “Embody the grace you hope to encounter.” This is such a beautiful illustration of what we should all strive to be to others. Remember, you do not know the path someone else is walking or has walked. Give grace to yourself when you are going through change but also give grace to others. This will be such a beautiful gift to you and those around you as you go through the different seasons of change this life may bring.

Q: What is one lesson you learned from a time when you experienced change?
Alex | My 10th grade Geometry teacher told me once, "When something happens, you have three choices: You can let it destroy you, you can let it define you, or you can let it strengthen you." The wisdom of those words were lost on me at the time, but in the last ten years, every peak and valley has presented that choice, over and over. I let plenty define me (academic or athletic success, family history, etc), and some of them I even let destroy me (toxic relationships, loss). But the moments I'm most proud of are when I looked my fear of change straight in the face, and said, "You're on." Change is not only inevitable, it's necessary. It's up to you how you react to it.

Lindsay | One lesson I learned from a time when I experienced change was to not be afraid to reach out and ask for help. When you think you know all the answers or can do everything on your own is when experiencing change can be crippling and overwhelming. Asking for help does not make you a weak individual or incapable of facing the change. I believe asking for help when experiencing change actually makes you a stronger person and a humble human being.

Q: What was one difficult aspect of change you experienced?        
Alex | Change doesn't ever stop. When I was at the height of my collegiate pole-vaulting career, I just wanted to stand on that podium, in that moment for a while. When my dad suddenly passed away from substance abuse my senior year of college, all I wanted to do was get in my bed and hide, make my life stop careening forward at breakneck pace. But change doesn't give you a break - no matter how much you need it. It doesn't get easier, you just get more resilient, I think.

Lindsay | One difficult aspect of change that I experienced was thinking that I was the only person ever in this world to experience this type of change. In reality, things and people are changing constantly, every day. When you open up and share your experiences and what you’re going through, you actually learn that there are many people going through the same experience of change that you’re going through.

Q: How do you find peace in times of change?   
Alex | Eep... I haven't figured this one out yet. Talking to my best friend, praying out loud, and a good cry has helped. I've also cause-mapped out my stresses in my journal (embarrassing), and found a fantastic radio channel that puts me in my best headspace (The Coffeehouse on Sirius XM, ugh yes). Still working on this, I'll keep ya posted.

Lindsay | I find peace and rest in times of change by utilizing my support systems in friends, family, and mentors. I also find peace and rest by finding moments of quietness and stillness. That may look like reading a good book, watching a reality TV show, or going for a walk. I also look towards the only constant in my life, and that is Jesus Christ who brings me rest and peace.

Through seasons of change in life, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. This Podcast highlights a tool that “serves as an anchor in the midst of overwhelm, confusion, or fog”.

This simple, casual, do-in-your-dorm-room yoga routine is a life saver. Adriene publishes free (yes, free), weekly yoga videos ranging in length, difficulty, and topic. She even shares 30 day challenges if you're looking for that extra accountability or challenge.