Beauty from the Inside Out
Q and A with Lily Carville and Gianna Green
How do you maintain a healthy image of yourself?
Lily: Do I maintain a healthy image of myself? I don’t know. We’re all just human, and I have my good days and my bad days like anyone else. What I’ve really learned is to give myself grace and not let moments of dissatisfaction cause me to lose focus on what is good about me. There is so much good in all of us and focusing on that is where I find my confidence.
Gianna: Wow, this is a very difficult question to answer! Honestly, I think it’s nearly impossible to always have a healthy image of yourself. I definitely go through seasons of feeling great and seasons that feel more bleak than anything. Those seasons can last anywhere from a few months to a few days or honestly even a few hours. I think it’s natural to fluctuate, but it’s important to aim to always return to a positive image of yourself. When I am feeling down about my body, I pop on one of my favorite outfits (we all have those go-to outfits) and go out and do something that makes me happy. Maybe that’s spending an hour or two at Rough Draft with friends or taking a drive and listening to songs that I can belt out at the top of my lungs. Whatever that is for you, try to do something that makes your soul happy. Having a healthy body image starts on the inside and radiates outward!
Are there specific trends today that you think are a challenge to healthy self-image?
Lily: There are numerous trends that I see taking away from healthy self-image, but I think worst of all right now is the blogger culture and the comparison that it brings about. I love TikTok – it’s my current guilty pleasure. I’ve been seeing a ton of Met Gala and NYC Fashion Week content lately, which naturally has me fawning over their style and clothes and bodies, and even their make-up! One of the girls I follow, recently pointed out that she also struggles with comparison, sometimes even comparing herself to the version of herself that is made up and styled by professionals. It is important for me to remember that celebrities have whole teams of professionals to make them look as good as they look. I’m just one person who sometimes doesn’t even have time to blow dry my hair, and that’s okay! I also make a concerted effort to follow bloggers who are real and honest about themselves and their process by posting photos or videos.
Gianna: Social media is not a new thing anymore – we are all well aware of just how much it can influence the way we perceive ourselves, each other, and the world around us. We have to remember that what we see on social media is what others are CHOOSING to let us see. We don’t see the weeks of work that go into a photo shoot or the clutter that was shoved to the side to capture a clean desk with the light that hits just right. We don’t feel the stress of hitting ‘post’ or see the tears that are wiped away before (and after) the perfect photo was chosen, the filter was measured and edited just so, and the clever caption was written (and re-written.) We are all just humans dealing with the same human problems.
What advice would you give someone who is struggling with self-image?
Lily: It sounds so cliche, but I really believe in the power of positive thinking. If you say bad things about yourself to yourself then you are only perpetuating an unhealthy self-image. When I learned that I could love and appreciate my body and also still want to change things about it, that was really eye-opening to me. When I have days (or weeks) where I feel like I am not my best self, I tend to focus on affirming what my body does well for me. I recently went to Utah and hiked a wildly steep trail and then almost immediately rode a horse up a canyon. My body did that! So, focusing on that rather than a bit of extra weight here or there helps me to love myself on the bad days.
Gianna: You are not alone, and you are worthy of love! There are so many things about you that make you beautiful. Take time out of your day to list all the things that you love about yourself. Instead of dwelling on the negative, take time to think about the positive things. What are the things you do really well? Don’t be afraid to go out and flex the things that make you unique! God created each and every one of us individually and gifted us with different talents and abilities – that’s what makes you special. Start with the things you KNOW are true and work from there. True beauty comes from the inside and works its way out. If you want a quick read that will certainly make you weep big, beautiful happy tears, give “You Are Special” by Max Lucado a read.
How should we talk about this with friends or mentors?
Lily: I don’t think there is one right way to talk about self-image and confidence. Truly, I wish it was talked about more. I was shocked when I found out how many of my friends also struggled with self-image in their own ways. My personal struggle has always been with being bigger than my friends, but a lot of my friends struggled with being small or plain. Everyone experiences their own journey with their self-image, and while we don't all experience it in the same way, there is a lot of joy in knowing that you are not alone. So, my advice would simply be to talk about it at all! You are not alone and talking about it with people you trust will help you realize that.
Gianna: The best thing you can do is be honest with yourselves and with others. Now, I know I just told you to go out and be vulnerable about the thing (possibly THE thing) that you are most vulnerable about, but hear me out. More people struggle with this issue than admit to it. If you feel like you are in a space with supportive people, or maybe people that you think might need to share their own struggles, share what’s on your heart! You might be surprised as to what comes out.
