Crafting A Life You Love
By: Mary McGovern
A quick Google search will tell you that the average screen time of an 18 to 22-year-old is seven to eight hours. As appalling as this number is, I cannot pretend to be surprised because I have been part of the higher end of that statistic. From my own story, I can tell you there are many reasons why being on your phone for that many hours is harmful, but for me, looking back, it has boiled down to one essential fact: when you are not present in your life, it becomes a life you do not love. How can you appreciate the joys in life if you are not even present in reality?
When I began challenging myself to cut down my screen time, I did so by starting small and strong. I held myself accountable for completing certain habits before reaching for my phone: prayer, journaling, and reading. Once those were done, I could scroll to my heart’s content. However, I found that over time, I didn’t want to. I desired to stay present, get ready in silence or, at the most, play some quiet music in the background because the present was something I finally enjoyed. I was no longer dragging myself through the day and having my first tasks be homework, chores, or numbing my brain with an hour of scrolling before getting out of bed. Too often, we focus on what we need to cut out rather than what we need to replace it with. But simply removing a bad habit without filling the space with something meaningful often causes us to fall back into vices more intensely. If that is your mindset, you will become like the home in Luke 11:25 which, after it is cleaned out and banished of demons, is left empty only to be filled with more demons than before. It has not been about focusing on what I want to stop doing, but focusing on what I want to start prioritizing that led to real change in my story.
Not only do you need internal motivators and positive things toward which your energy can be turned, you also need a team of friends willing to walk beside you as you ditch your old life and craft a new one. In my journey, this came in the form of screenshotting my screen time at the end of the week and sending it to a few trusted friends and mentors in a group chat. They celebrated my small wins and lovingly chastised me for my failings. It wasn’t about shame—it was about truth. And for any vice, the same principle applies: shame buries you deeper in the problem, but truth sets you free. You don’t need perfect people in your life, but you do need good ones. You need friends who aren’t shocked by your failings or embarrassed by you or the life you are working to move from or to. You don’t need perfect people in your life, but you do need good ones
As you get deeper into the journey of loving and building your life, you must remember to make sure that it is your life you are loving and living and no one else’s. Seriously, stop trying to wake up and go to the gym at 5 a.m. if you hate it. Don’t feel guilty about your life looking different than your peers or the “IT” girl on Instagram. Breaking free of vices and changing is not about muscling through; it is about gently redirecting yourself. I have spent far too many mornings dragging myself out of bed to the gym when all I want to do is enjoy a cup of coffee and a good book, and I have spent far too many afternoons trying to read when all I want to do is go to the gym. The “ideal” routine and lifestyle is the one that you like. If you don’t like Jane Austen then—for crying out loud—stop trying to read Jane Austen. Maybe one day you can appreciate her literature, but when taking serious turns in your life, it is not the time to challenge your tastes and skills. I thought I hated cooking—until I realized what I hated was the stress of not knowing what I’d make each night. Once I started meal planning, I looked forward to trying new recipes and cooking. I hated getting dressed for school and work every day until I realized I loved a basic work-uniform template I now follow.
Real life isn’t an aesthetic Instagram reel. It’s messy, exhausting, and, honestly, sometimes just boring. You don’t need to romanticize every moment—you just need to embrace the mundane parts of your life.
When I think back to college memories, I don’t remember the hours I spent doom-scrolling in bed, I remember the time my friends and I decided to have an impromptu dance party in the Olds lobby when Olds Glow was canceled freshman year. I think about the random drives to Dutch Uncle or the hours spent lying on my friend Ingrid’s carpet while we talked about the deepest and dumbest things in the same conversation. I remember getting my hair dyed pink at midnight after the Hillsdale County Fair (FYI, not all temporary dyes are temporary).
Start small. Start strong. And remember—a life you love is one worth fighting for.
Mary McGovern | ‘24
After graduating with a B.A. in Philosophy, Mary began working in Hillsdale’s Career Services office. When not at work, Mary is likely at the local library, exploring new coffee shops out of town, or coercing people into playing board games.
