Reflections On A Year In England
By: Grace Balkan
Dependence. It’s a word I heard on a podcast, and I realized it sums up much of my life this last year. I moved to England in 2024 to volunteer at a Christian retreat centre on the north coast of Devon. In many ways, life is idyllic. A group of Christians from around the globe offer their time to help run the ministry that welcomes thousands of guests each year. We live and work on a 300-acre English estate overlooking the Bristol Channel and stunning coastal cliffs. Picture everything you’ve ever imagined about tranquil English countryside and you’ve got a good idea of where I live. Sheep and cattle graze the surrounding pastures. Our towered estate house is nestled on the hillside. Community members walk to the beach for evening summer swims and bonfires. A 30-minute hike through the breathtaking Valley of Rocks with its wild goats takes you to our nearest village of Lynton. We call Lee Abbey a “thin space” because so many people through the years have encountered Christ in this beautiful setting away from the usual hustle and bustle of life. Our daily rhythms of morning and afternoon prayers, worship and fellowship encourage us towards a deeper relationship with Christ.
When I serve meals to guests, they often ask the typical questions: How did I hear about Lee Abbey Devon? Why did I join community life? What was I doing beforehand? I’ve had a lot of practice sharing about the “God appointment” with a stranger that eventually led me here. I tell them I felt God calling me to intentionally pursue deeper relationship with Him. That I left an amazing church, a job that gave me great purpose and a nurturing community in Hillsdale to fly halfway around the world with a suitcase and backpack to work—for free!
Living in Community on an estate that welcomes thousands of guests each year necessitates trust and reliance on each other. Some community members cook, some clean, others tend the estate and animals, and still more manage bookings, guests, admin, outreach, etc. We have to rely on each other for help and encouragement. We pray for each other. The job is too big to do alone. But dependence on others also creates more variables for our lives. It is uncomfortable. We don’t like variables because it means we’re not in full control. However, it also creates an opportunity slow down, appreciate things we wouldn’t have otherwise noticed and to realize we don’t always need to be in control. We must necessarily hold our plans a little more loosely. Putting ourselves in a state of dependence can actually help separate what is necessary from what isn’t. I don’t think we should throw away all life possessions and live on bread and water in grass huts. But sometimes intentionally making life simpler re-calibrates our gratitude for what really matters.
Some have asked what I’ve missed most about America. Some trivial conveniences come to mind. I miss my own bed and pillows. My little cat. Personal space in my own bathroom and kitchen. Grocery shopping on a whim. Two-day weekends. Being in the same timezone as family. My car. Driving with the windows down. Chocolate peanut butter ice cream. Yet the absence of my creature comforts also makes me realize how much I took them for granted. Some of my new friends are from very tumultuous parts of the world. I see how they handle difficulty and am amazed at their reliance on the Lord for even little things. It has given me fresh perspective on gratitude.
I’ve also noticed beauty in delayed gratification and simplicity. If I need to something from the store, there’s no zooming by Kroger on my way home from work. I have to write it down and wait until my next day off. I walk the 30 minutes into Lynton village, take a 45-minute bus ride to Barnstaple, collect my items and retrace my steps. At first this journey seemed exciting. Then it felt inconvenient and sometimes annoying. Slowly, though, I see the blessing of it. I’m forced to slow down, enjoy the long bus ride, notice the people and noises around me, pray about what’s on my mind. If I’m very lucky, someone with a car is headed into the village and can give me a lift partway. Little kindnesses mean a lot more to me because I am more impacted by them. Dependence builds gratitude. Another time, when I accidentally washed my AirPods in the laundry and couldn’t afford replacements, I was mortified at the prospect of running without good music. Lo and behold, the quiet is not nearly as bad as I thought! I have more headspace to think. A small area of my life was unintentionally simplified for a season, and it has been a blessing in disguise.
People sometimes ask what I’ve learned from leaving my home and moving halfway around the world to volunteer for a year. My faith in the Lord and outlook on how to live life have been challenged and refined. There’s nothing quite like living in a close community with other Christians to reveal your own weaknesses. God seems bigger to me because I need Him more. I have learned to more quickly turn to Him. Practicing dependence in community is a reminder that I can’t do life without the Lord. I must wholly depend on Him. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). This season of simplicity has provided clarity of mind and purpose to remind me who and what really matters. And for that, I’m forever grateful for this experience.
Grace Balkan | ‘21
After working for a few years post-graduation as Dr. Arnn’s Executive Assistant, I made the transition to ministry work for a year of volunteer service in England. It has been a transformational time of beauty, dependence and simplicity. I enjoy photography, long walks in the English countryside, and a good book and cuppa! An Arizona native, I am headed back to the Phoenix Valley this summer.
