Trust Your Gut, Not Your Heart: Discerning Between Instincts and Emotions
By: Emma Widmer
1. Trust your gut.
2. Your emotions are real, but they don’t always tell you the truth.
My parents have given me more words of advice than I care to count and usually it’s pretty good, even if I don’t always remember or follow it. These two statements, however, have been exceptionally formative in navigating the complexities of middle school, college decisions, dating, solo travel, and post grad plans.
Points one and two above seem great at first, but what happens when they seem to conflict? What about when you are in a particularly stressful season, or are a generally anxious person? How do you discern whether your unsettledness is your intuition telling you something is off or if your own anxieties and insecurities are pushing away a good thing? I am by no means an expert, but this is a matter I have been confronted with numerous times in recent years.
Here is what I have learned.
First, your intuition is a good thing. It is biologically designed to keep you alive. Your gut instinct is that feeling you get, almost indescribably, that something is wrong, even if you can’t pinpoint why. I am certainly not a neurologist or theologian, but I do believe that your instincts are in a way scientific and a result of the Holy Spirit guiding us. So, here is my brief and rather simplified understanding of why you feel your instincts in your gut. Your nervous system is always collecting bits of information from your environment, firing signals to your brain without you being consciously aware, then sending signals to the sensory neurons found in your digestive tract, thus creating that “gut feeling.”
Your instincts aren’t always that obvious. Sometimes it’s just knowing something without having evidence. I don’t fully understand it, and I’m convinced scientists and psychologists don’t either, but I am content with the belief that there are some things we aren’t meant to completely comprehend, and this just might be one. My dad has spent his career working in the justice system, and with three daughters, he taught us to trust those instincts and be aware of our surroundings. It is better to be a little overcautious when trusting that feeling, especially when it comes to your safety and getting out of a potentially sketchy situation.
What about when those similar instincts are raised about something completely non-life threatening, like choosing a school, accepting a job, or navigating friendships and dating?
Around this time last year, I received an acceptance into a graduate program for a career that I have been dreaming of for–quite literally–my entire conscious life. I’ve had my heart set on working with animals and being a veterinarian for as long as I can remember. So, when I got accepted into a perfectly good program, there was no reason I shouldn’t have been all in. I truly desired to attend this school on the blue waters of the Caribbean, studying and working with animals.
It sounded like a dream, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t supposed to go. At least not right now. I began to doubt myself. Why was I feeling this way? After all, isn’t this what I had been actively working toward? Over the following months, I wrestled with those two pieces of advice from my parents. I knew emotions can often cloud judgement, leading to decisions that aren’t based on truth. But is this anxiety or intuition? Is this my gut telling me no? Is my hesitation the Lord trying to tell me something? Is this a result of anxiety slipping in and telling me lies? Am I self-sabotaging because I am scared to go and fail?
You name it, and I was probably thinking it. I was borderline psychoanalyzing myself. If you are in a similar position of trying to discern between your intuition and the Lord’s will versus your emotions, here are a couple tips I found helpful in my process:
Talk with trustworthy friends and mentors.
It can be easy to spiral into self-doubt, indecisiveness, and overthinking. The enemy will try to convince you to keep things a secret and not let anyone else know about your struggles. He will make you think that you are overreacting or that you should be ashamed. Bringing your doubts and insecurities into the light will allow someone with an outside perspective to speak truth into your situation. Sometimes just saying something out loud makes you realize how incorrect it is.
Pray about it.
Talk to the Lord and ask for his peace and guidance. Seek to follow His will, and He will never lead you astray. Sometimes, there may not be a right or wrong decision. Both choices could be good in their own way. I have found that continually being in prayer is the best way to be at peace with a decision. After you have made a decision, it is tempting to doubt whether it was the right one. If you are confident that you were prayerfully considering the matter and seeking the Lord’s will, you can be confident in your decision.
Listen to you body.
Take note of what your body feels like, and take a little extra time to give it some TLC to reduce the stressors that can increase the physical effects of anxiety. Are there feelings that you normally feel when you are anxious like a racing heart, jitters, churning stomach? Take some extra time to support your body and clear your head. A good meal and adequate sleep can often make very large, looming decisions much clearer or at least more manageable. Make sure you are eating properly especially if you are consuming caffeine. Protein, carbs, and vegetables are all important. Move your body and get outside. Walks are a great time to verbally process with a friend or have some quiet time to reflect.
After much prayer, contemplation, and advice from trusted mentors, my parents, and my counselor (shameless plug to take advantage of the Health Center counseling), I discerned it was the Lord, perhaps even the Holy Spirit utilizing feelings of intuition, and not my emotions that were prompting me to put vet school on pause. Since then, the Lord has made it abundantly clear that it was the right decision. It certainly was an exercise in trust to turn down an opportunity without having my Plan B worked out. After much wrestling and prayer, I knew it was the Lord prompting me to let go of control and take a step of faith. A few weeks after making my decision, a hurricane caused substantial damage to the island that would have been my home. I’m not sure if that is exactly why, but I can’t help but see the ways the Lord has so unexpectedly provided when I followed where he was leading me, even when I couldn’t see more than one step ahead.
Emma Widmer | ‘24
Emma graduated from Hillsdale in 2024 after studying Art and Biology. You can usually find her working in the Student Activities Office, wandering the world foods aisle, or attempting to make friends with the closest animal. She has a deep passion for nature, strong coffee, kind people, and joyfully gathering over good food and drinks. When not working, you can find her painting, knitting, planning her next travel adventure, or perfecting her bread baking skills.
