On Gathering Around the Table
BY: MARY MARGARET SPITERI
The best thing you will do in college and maybe the rest of your life is to share a meal with friends. I know this is a bold claim, and on the surface, a homemade meal pales in comparison to walking the Camino de Santiago, sailing through the Caribbean, or even your future wedding day. However, over the years as I reflect on my experiences, the memories made sharing a meal with friends and strangers are always the fondest.
Meals for holidays, special occasions, or just “family dinner” Sundays have helped shape who I am, given opportunities to strengthen my convictions, fostered lifelong friendships, and taught me a practical skill. Sharing a meal with others is as human as it gets; we are social creatures, and we need to eat.
We start putting an emphasis on food from the very beginning. When a mother has a new baby, friends provide meals to get her through the early days. Then as we get older, we bring snacks or cupcakes into school for birthdays or share a pizza party with friends. We are social creatures and it is in our nature to share food with others, to come together over an occasion or shared interest and break bread. All at once, food can celebrate, uplift, nourish, and connect. Even Caesar Chavez once said, “If you really want to make a friend, go to someone’s house and eat with him... the people who give you their food give you their heart”.
Unfortunately, as we get older, food often becomes a necessity and we lose the social connection. College is busy and we rush from thing to thing barely stopping to go to the dining hall. Yes, I understand you’re sharing a meal with friends in the dining hall, but I promise, it isn’t the same thing. Taking the time to give something of yourself to someone else is a precious gift. Admittedly, sometimes it can feel overwhelming to prepare a meal but ultimately the act of service and the experience of the meal leave you fulfilled. You just have to begin.
There are many ways to do it, but I recommend just starting. Find an off campus friend, set a time, and make a weekly commitment. Invite the same group or new people every week. Not only will you learn to cook, but you’ll learn to cook for a crowd. Trade on and off who cooks every week, sharing in the preparation is as life giving as sharing the food. Cooking for old friends and new friends is the new hobby you have been looking for. It doesn’t need to be complicated or new, just cook and learn. When you graduate you’ll be thankful for the practical experience not just the memories made.
I have many memories from cooking in college and the years since, but my favorite and most impactful was the time I hosted Thanksgiving. My senior year, a friend and I split the food duties and hosted 11 people, friends and strangers, for Thanksgiving dinner. It is now my favorite holiday, mostly because of that experience and since that day, there has only been one Thanksgiving meal I haven’t hosted.
What makes the bucket list experiences so memorable is the people met and the conversations shared, most likely during a meal. Anthony Bourdain put it perfectly; “Meals make the society; hold the fabric together in lots of ways that were charming and interesting and intoxicating to me. The perfect meal, or the best meals, occur in a context that frequently has very little to do with the food itself.”
