The Challenge to Cultivate Community
One of the purposes of Curate is to cultivate community. Now, cultivate is an interesting word, isn’t it? It literally means to foster the growth of or to improve by labor, care, or study - it is, by definition, hard work. Each community you create is a journey; it takes effort, time, and resources to grow, it has its own ups and downs, its own beginnings and ends. Through high school, college, and beyond - each new community will refine you and teach you something about yourself.
My college community came easy - it was built in for me. My college teammates were an automatic and very tight-knit community - no hard work needed. We bonded through 4 years of everyday workouts and practices, through living together and sharing essentially every life experience, and especially through commiserating over our college difficulties. Then it all changed. We graduated and were no longer sharing in a pursuit of winning games, going to class, and everything in between. Sure, we kept in touch those first few months and even years, when showers and weddings allowed us to get together consistently - but sadly the real relationships have faded. The reality was that a community built without intentionality just didn’t last.
As I moved into the next stage of life, I had learned my lesson and was ready to work for my community. Boy, am I proud of how my introverted, post-grad self busted out of her comfort zone to put herself out there and cultivate a new community. I said yes to any invite or gathering that came my way and threw myself into developing deeper, and more rooted relationships - and I did just that. I invested in a truer connection with one college friend who also ended up in Hillsdale. I built mentorship relationships with people I admired. And I created some of the most fruitful and closest friendships with people I was acquainted with in college but never took the time to really get to know. I was building a real community - and loving it!
Then, life handed me a new lesson about community - just like in college, people move on, their work or spouse or family takes them somewhere else. Somehow I thought this would be different in adult life. Here, it’s almost worse - instead of knowing the expiration date for your close community, things can change on a dime and catch you off guard like you wouldn’t expect. After all that cultivating and fostering of relationships, all of a sudden they are gone and the relationship has changed. No longer can you share in bible studies, beach volleyball, and backyard bonfires. Now the goal is to stay connected through texts, facetimes, and the occasional visit. A whole new kind of cultivation.
After this latest journey, I find myself tired of working hard for my community. My inclination instead is to hold on tight to my existing relationships, and shut myself off to any new potential ones - because who knows when something might change? Why invest in someone or something when there is so much uncertainty? It’s much safer and easier to guard myself - stick to what I know, never take risks or put myself out there, retreat into my old introverted, homebody habits, and maintain my community just how it is. But what I keep reminding myself, and what I’m urging you today is this: life isn’t made in the easy and the safe. The challenge of cultivating community is what makes life worthwhile.
So my charge to you is this - embrace the joys and challenges found in the journey. Don’t be afraid to invest in new people, to try new adventures, or to seek out new experiences. The transience of college community can be scary, but you’ll miss out on the beauty of it all if you only stick to what’s known. And finally, embrace the potential for camaraderie, mentorship, and purpose found in Curate. Curate, the way we designed it to be, only works if you do.
So, what does this mean, practically? Well, I have a few suggestions:
Be bold. Reach out to the woman whose story really resonates with you - ask about her life, even ask to get coffee if she’s local. I promise you won’t regret it.
Be inquisitive. Talk about the things you’re reading in Curate with the women around you - in your dorm, on your team, in your class. Share articles you think are interesting, discuss stories that hit home to you, try out suggestions you read in Curate together.
Be engaged. Come to Curate events (shameless plug, I know). Even if it makes you uncomfortable, even if you don’t know anyone else going, you never know what incredible things could come out of it.
Do the hard work, and you’ll be amazed at the community you can create. Let’s dig in together.
